In between
by bookaddict98
Summary: Hermione never leaves her husban, Draco, alone. They do everything together, they have a perfect marriage. Or so he thinks, until the Hermione he once knew is not the one standing before him. But, how could he have lost something that was never gone? ONE SHOT (sensitive content: sex, alcohol, mental disorders).


The morning sun was too bright for him. His eyes started to hurt behind his eyelids, but he didn't have the strength to move a hand to shut the curtains with wandless magic. The warm feeling on his skin was suffocating him, until he felt a cold stroke. Fingertips traced his forehead down to his chin, towards his neck and then his chest. The cold sensation brushed down his body, almost touching his boxers, up again to rest a few seconds in his chest before repeating the path. And he felt so comfortable under the familiar touch that it took his brain some minutes to register what was happening. He opened his eyes abruptly, silver meeting chocolate.

"Good morning, Draco," her voice was so soft, eyes fixed on his as her fingers lingered over his body. Her face so close to his that her slow breaths brushed his lips.

"Hermione," her name left his lips like he was gasping for air. "Wha—What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? I live here, with you," a small smile formed on her full lips. Those lips that had driven him crazy countless times.

"But you—you are —" he was so desperate, but she placed her ring finger against his lips. The cold silver ring against his lips prevented him from finishing.

"I know we fought last night, but I will never leave you."

Draco extended his hands, running his fingers through her wild curls, Hermione leaned closer. His fingers started to mimic hers, moving up and down the soft skin of her curves. "I thought you had left for good."

"I'm yours Draco. If you want me to stay, I _will_ stay."

"I want you to stay," Draco said, barely above a whisper. His hands traveling to her hips, pinning her down to the bed. His lips capturing hers in an urgent kiss. Hermione giggled under him, her nails softly scratching his back. His tongue caressing her lower lip, before she opened her mouth to welcome him. Draco pressed his body down, crushing her. It was so good to have her back. _So good_.

"Easy there. You—are—going—to—be—late for work," she said between kisses. He moved to let her breathe.

She sat on the border of the bed and looked at him over her shoulder. Her curls falling, framing her face. "I will be here when you come home," she said, before disappearing into the walk-in-closet.

* * *

"How you are feeling, mate?" Potter asked, entering the office, shrugging off his coat.

Being partners with Potter in the Auror division had been a challenge the first few months, but after five years of working together Draco would be lying if he told anyone that working with Potter was bad. On the contrary, he actually enjoyed going on missions with him. They had more in common that what they had suspected during their years at Hogwarts, and a true friendship formed between them after so many long days and nights working together.

"I'm better," Draco shrugged. Harry eyed him, worried. Draco hadn't been _well_ in a long time, and it seemed that he would never be again.

"You know that you can have dinner with me and Ginny whenever you want," Potter offered him. Draco couldn't help but roll his eyes. Ginny and Harry had been breathing down his neck for the past couple of weeks, like he was going to do something stupid at any given moment. "I know it's difficult mate, but we don't want you to be alone."

"I'm not alone," Draco scoffed. "We have work to do, end of conversation."

Potter looked over his glasses at him, pity in his green eyes. But Draco didn't want to talk about it, he _was not alone._ Hermione was waiting for him to come home.

* * *

Draco opened the door to his apartment. The lights were all off, like they had been for the past few weeks every time he returned home. He loosened his tie, before unbuttoning his long sleeve shirt and tossing it to the floor. Hermione always hated how messy he was, but he couldn't care less. He entered the bathroom, turning the light on.

Letting the water run, he stood in front of the sink, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He looked worn out, like the life had been sucked out of him. Draco felt tired, not only physically, but mentally. He bent down, splashing cold water into his face. He took a deep breath, clenching the sides of the sink. His knuckles turned paler. Blinking a few times, he let the refreshing sensation of the cold water sink in his skin.

His silver eyes went up, stopping at the mirror. A pair of soft chocolate eyes were staring back at him in the reflection. He turned to meet Hermione submerged in a bubble bath. The bubbles so thick that shielded her body from his eyes. Her left cheek resting on top of the edge of the ivory bathtub. Chocolate eyes stared intensely at him. Her curls tied messily on top of her head, a few rebel ones had escaped falling gently over her face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't notice you were here," Draco muttered, gripping the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index fingers.

"I was enjoying a bath in the dark," a soft smile played on her pink lips. "Care to join me?"

Draco unbuttoned his pants, letting them drop to his feet followed by his underwear. Hermione grabbed his hand, helping him in the bathtub. He sat, relaxing as the warm water enveloped him. Hermione settled in his lap, her arms hugging him around the neck, her soft cheek resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on top of her head.

"What's wrong, Draco?"

"It's— It's just that they don't stop saying how I can't be alone all the time. How I must get over it someday. But they don't understand that I have you. I'm not alone, you are always with me," Draco whispered into her hair, as she softly scratched the nape of his neck.

"Don't think about it. They don't understand," Hermione grabbed his left hand with hers, intertwining her small fingers with his long ones. Their wedding bands clashing together, cold silver against warm silver. "Do you remember our first date?"

Draco remembered. He still could smell the coffee in the air as he entered the small coffee shop in Muggle London. The curly haired witch was sitting at the back, alone, a cup of cold coffee between her small hands. A single tear running down her cheek. Ronald Weasley had stood her up. Draco had asked if she would mind if he joined her. She said no. He bought her a fresh cup of coffee, spending the rest of the afternoon talking.

"I could never forget," he smiled down at his witch.

"We are together, Draco. I _won't leave_ without you."

* * *

"I know you love her, Draco, but this is going out of control," Theo was pacing up and down the living room. Hermione was staring at him, sitting on the sofa with her legs folded under her. Not a single word coming from her lips, as if she was scared that Theo would notice her.

"How can you say that?" Draco was feeling the anger rising in the pit of his stomach. Nott was his friend, but Hermione was the love of his life. He had vowed her, in front of everyone, that he would dedicate his whole life to her.

"I know that you need time, but maybe it's time for you to start packing her things," Theo ran his hands through his hair, desperate to help his friend. "We're worried about you."

Hermione's eyes filled with tears, she stood up and almost ran to the bedroom. Draco heard how the door clicked closed.

"I can't deal with you, Nott. Just leave. _Please,_ " Draco was so tired of this bullshit. Tired of everyone telling him what to do, telling him to forget her.

Theo gave up, he couldn't think of anything to make Draco snap back to reality. He just left the apartment, letting out a defeated sigh.

"Hermione, please open the door," he whispered, standing outside of the bedroom. He was so tired he had to grab the frame of the door for support.

The door creaked open and Draco stepped in. Hermione was standing by the window, her small frame hiding behind one of his old shirts, way too big for her. She didn't turn to meet his eyes, and as Draco approached her, the whisper leaving her lips was the only thing that could be heard.

"You don't love me anymore. It's that what's going on?" Her voice was trembling, and even though the only thing Draco could see were her back and rebel curls, he was sure that salty tears were streaming down her face.

"No, no. I love you. I don't know why they are trying to kick you out of my life."

Draco didn't know what to say or do. He was sure that she would eventually would grow tired of this and will leave him. But he couldn't bear to lose her again. Hermione had returned to his life, and he was determinate to keep her by his side.

"Do you want me to go? Do you want to be alone?" Hermione's voice was so cold that he almost didn't recognize her.

"No," his own voice was a whisper.

Hermione nodded, leaving him standing in the bedroom as she locked herself in the bathroom, not coming back.

* * *

Draco woke up to the soft humming coming from the kitchen. The sky was still dark outside the window. The clock on top of his bedside table indicated that it was almost four in the morning. He rubbed his eyes with his wrist, trying to shake the sleep off, hoping to stop hearing the soft noise that was coming from her lips. But it lingered in the air, echoing down the hall all the way from the kitchen to his bedroom. He stood up, feeling the cold wood under his feet. His heart was racing, as he walked to the kitchen.

Hermione was sitting by the kitchen island, flipping through the pages full of moving pictures reviving their wedding day.

"You don't let me sleep," Draco told her, walking to the counter to pull out a glass from the cabinet. It was not the first time she had woken him up in the last few days.

Hermione didn't look up, her eyes still on the of the book as her fingers changed the page. "Lately it seems that I cannot sleep," she muttered. "But then again, lately we have been fighting more than usual. Maybe it's your _friends_ that no longer want us to be together."

Hermione turned to look at him as Draco poured a generous amount of fire whiskey into his glass.

"What are you talking about? They are your friends too and they want _us_ to be happy," Draco leaned against the counter, gulping down his drink. The burning sensation was welcomed by his body.

The brown eyed girl shook her head. "They are not my friends anymore, they only want me away from you."

Draco tilted the bottle of liquor, another generous amount slid into the glass. He eyed his witch from the corner of the eye.

"Aren't you going to say something?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"About?"

"Me drinking. You don't like it when I drink this much."

"I don't mind anymore," Hermione stood up, slowly towards him. Draco noticed that she was wearing one of his button-down shirts, with nothing underneath. "I think you should have another one," she grabbed the bottle, serving him another drink.

Draco stared at her. This was not the Hermione that he knew.

"Do you remember our wedding night?" She asked, pressing her cold lips against his neck. Draco felt how his pulse increased as she dragged her lips over his skin to his jaw. He nodded. "We were so happy, Draco."

His hands traveled down her body, digging his fingers on the soft flesh of her hips. Draco tilted his head, so his lips could finally kiss hers. Hermione kissed him back, increasing the roughness of the kiss, her hands softly tugging at his hair. Draco softly bit her lower lip, and a moan escaped her throat. With a swift move, he lifted Hermione, her legs wrapping around his torso. Draco carried her towards their room without breaking the kiss.

He gently rested her against the mattress, his knee between her legs. Draco slowly unbuttoned the shirt covering her body, his silver eyes staring at her chocolate ones. He pushed the shirt off her shoulders, his eyes scanning her naked body.

His rough palm caressed her soft skin, traveling from her shoulders down her torso towards her legs. Hermione extended a hand, tugging softly at his boxers. Draco got rid of them with a quick move, throwing them to the floor. His fingers skimmed up her leg until they reached her heat. Hermione arched her back as Draco dragged his finger over her slit, thrusting a finger inside her. He loved to see how she would bite her lip, so the moans wouldn't scape. How her body trembled under his. He nibbled on the soft skin of her neck, her breasts pressing against his chest, his finger never stopping as she moaned into his ear, fingernails burying into his back.

"Draco, _please,_ " she begged, and with a soft move Draco placed her legs around his waist, trusting her.

One of his hands was underneath Hermione, pressing her against him, and the other one next to his wife's head, pressing down on the mattress to steady him. Her lips were all over him, moans escaping their lips, her hands roaming his body as he moved on top of her. The feeling overwhelming. She moaned his name as she reached the seventh heaven, him following her.

"I love you," Hermione whispered as she cuddled against his chest, one of her legs over his.

"I love you," Draco lifted his left hand, the silver band reflecting the moonlight.

* * *

Ginny was sitting before Draco, Harry to her left. They both were trying to make small talk, trying to make Draco feel comfortable. But he felt nauseous, pushing down the meal that the redhead had prepared for him. It didn't taste bad, but watching Hermione leaning back on the wall a few feet from them was making him sick.

"Draco, we all miss her. But you have been acting so strange lately that maybe you need someone to help you letting go," Ginny's brown eyes were full of worries, her lips pursed.

"Tell them you are fine, or they are going to separate us," Hermione whispered into his ear, her cold hand resting on his shoulder.

"I'm fine. I just… I just need time."

His answer was so poor that it was obvious that Ginny didn't believe him.

"Maybe you need another drink," Hermione had a mischievous smile on her lips, and Draco obeyed her filling his cup with red wine.

* * *

Draco stopped dead on his tracks. Behind his desk, his wife was rolling a quill between her fingers. He looked behind him, making sure that no one outside his office had noticed that Hermione was waiting for him. He placed his coat on the rack by the door and warily walked over to his desk.

"What are you doing here? You are supposed to wait for me at home," he looked down at Hermione. She just raised a brow.

"You wanted me to stay. I can't leave you just like that." She stood up, and softly pushed Draco so he would fall into his chair. She walked over to the minibar that he and Harry had put up for when they had important guests. Hermione placed a glass and a flask of liquor in a tray. Draco watched her, as she brought the tray to his desk.

"I'm at the office," he shook his head when she nodded for him to have a drink.

Her beautiful face turned stone cold, eyes hardening. "Drink, or I will go."

Reluctantly, Draco poured himself a drink. The burning sensation going down his throat. Hermione smiled sweetly at him as he gulped down the amber liquid.

Harry entered the office and sighed, as he eyed the glass in front of Draco. "Draco, you can't keep up like this. You are getting worse."

"Oh, Potter thinks he knows what's going on," Hermione was walking so close to Harry that it seemed like she was going to bump into him at any second. Draco was getting anxious, Hermione walking around them. He stood up abruptly, the glass falling from the desk, crashing into small pieces.

Draco's breath was heavy as Harry stared at him. "Malfoy, I know it's difficult. But maybe is time to seek help," Harry's words lingered in the air.

"You don't need help, you have me. You wanted me back, and here I am," Hermione stood beside Draco, her cold fingers running up and down his spine. "Just tell him something so he leaves us alone."

"I'm better, I really am Potter. I was even thinking about attending the party at Longbottom's," Draco lied, and Hermione smiled, satisfied.

"Well, that's great. I'll see you there then. Now let's just finish this paperwork," the green-eyed man sat behind his desk ready to start. Draco waited a few seconds, hoping that Hermione would leave to wait for him at home. But when she sat cross-legged on top of the coffee table, watching Draco's every move, he knew that she would not leave him alone.

* * *

Draco was standing outside of the Neville's house. The music already loud inside. Hermione was a few steps behind him.

"Can't you just leave for tonight?" he closed his eyes tightly.

"Do you want me to?" Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder, a shiver running down his spine. "You are nothing without me, Draco. Don't you remember?" her lips brushed his ear.

"Just for tonight. I'll be back home with you," Draco turned to see her, placing a hand on her cold cheek.

"Liar. But if you want me to go, fine. I will leave you alone, let's see how this end."

Hermine pushed him, and before he could process what was happening, he was inside the house. Greeting his fellow Hogwarts ex-students and his work partners. He felt like a big weight was lifted from his shoulders, just enjoying the light chat and the good music. Harry commented how good was to have him back, to see him healing. Draco just nodded, not being able to admit that he was only free for the night.

Astoria Greengrass had asked him to dance one song, but then another song followed. Draco had never considered Astoria as anything more than a friend. After all, he was a married man, and he loved his wife more than anything in the world. _A little too much,_ Harry had said once. But Astoria was so easy to talk too, and he had never felt lonelier, not even before Hermine returned. It was contradictory, when she was gone, he felt empty, but not lonely. And now that she was back, he felt _worse._

After spending a few hours talking to her, Draco found that he enjoyed her company. She was not Hermione, but he felt welcomed. So, it was not a surprise that he let Astoria guide him to one of the empty guest bedrooms. She had kissed him first, closing the door behind her. But Draco didn't stop her, he returned the kiss, gently pushing her to the bed.

She smelled completely different than Hermione, her touch was different, but her skin was warm against him. Draco fell onto the mattress as the brunette climbed on top of him, her legs on each side of him. Her dress bunched up near her hips, showing the pale skin of her thighs. His long fingers caressed the soft skin of Astoria's legs.

She leaned over, her lips pressing and sucking the sensitive skin of his neck. Draco groaned, feeling her warm lips working on him. Her fingers slowly went down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. Draco's hands roamed her body positioned on top of him. He lifted his back a little, so Astoria could push the shirt off his shoulders.

Draco fell stone cold when he met a pair of brown eyes, golden freckles glowing with anger.

"So that's why you wanted me to leave? So you could fuck Astoria? Should've known that you didn't get over your silly school crush."

Hermione was standing at the foot of the bed, watching how Astoria slowly unfastened his belt. Draco felt how his throat went dry. Her brown eyes staring so coldly at him that he felt how his heart clenched in his chest.

Hermione removed the silver wedding band from her finger. She held it in the air, making a gesture mimicking her throwing away the ring. Draco sat up in the bed abruptly, stretching his hand to catch the ring. Astoria fell from the bed because of his sudden move.

The brunette's face was flushed in embarrassment. Astoria collected herself, straightening her dress.

"Astoria, I…" Draco trailed off. He didn't know what to tell the green-eyed girl. It was not like he could just say that Hermione was standing before them.

"Just forget about it, Draco," Astoria didn't turn to see him as she exited the room, escaping to the party.

Hermione had a smirk on her face as she placed the ring back on her finger.

* * *

Draco and Hermione were sitting on opposite sides of the table. Her arms were crossed over her chest. Ice cold brown eyes were looking at him. A bottle of amber liquid placed between them.

"Drink," her voice ordered, cold. This was not his Hermione.

"No."

Draco had been drinking almost all weekend. He had been drinking for the past few weeks. At first, she pushed the drinks without him noticing. Just placing the glass before him, offering him a drink between kisses. Telling him that a cup of wine would relax him as they took a bath together. Convincing him that three drinks were a decent amount to have while having an appetizer. And every time he gulped down the drink, he could feel Hermione closer.

At first, she would wait for him to come home, hold him in her arms. Then she would sometimes be nearby when he was at work. But now she was hovering over him all the time, sitting by his side, telling him what to do, what to say. Forcing him to drink even when he wasn't feeling like it.

"Maybe I should go," she threatened nonchalantly.

"I don't want you to go, Hermione. But you are hurting me," Draco looked up at her.

Her chocolate eyes softened. Hermione walked around the table, stopping beside him. She ran her cold fingers through his platinum hair, hugging him to her chest with her other arm.

"I'll will never do anything to hurt you. I just want us to be together," she mumbled under her breath.

Draco looked at her, big gray eyes showing the battle going inside his mind. He just couldn't lose her again, he couldn't endure it. He didn't know how to carry on without her. His heart ached at the thought of losing her again, so his brain commanded him to bring the liquor to his lips, the burning sensation making him dizzy.

* * *

Draco knew that he was laying on the floor, but he felt too tired, so dizzy, that he couldn't gather enough strength to get up, to call for help. Hermione was standing next to him, looking down into his silver eyes. His wrist painfully burning, hot liquid spilling on the wood floor. The headache pounding his brain, Draco was fighting to keep his eyes open, but falling into the darkness was becoming more and more appealing.

The bedroom was spinning around him. The strong metallic smell of his own blood making him nauseous.

"Stay calm, Draco. We'll be together, forever, just as you promised the day we married," Hermione soothed him.

Draco could hear someone slamming the front door, so hard he was surprised they hadn't knocked it down. Finally, he heard the door falling with a loud thud. Steps were all over his apartment, feet stomping on the hard wood floor. The bedroom door flung open, and a gasp was released into the air.

"Fuck, Draco!" Harry's voice rang in his ears, and the last thing Draco saw were the Chosen One's green eyes hovering over him before falling into cold darkness.

* * *

Draco had been in St. Mungo's for almost a month. He couldn't stand looking at his own reflection. Dark purple circles under his eyes, his skin paler than ever. The ugly scar on his wrist where he had attempted to take his life.

"This is all your fault, we shouldn't be here," Hermione was sitting on the hospital bed, playing with the white sheets. "I want to go home. This place is so depressing."

"You are hurting me. You made me do this," the tears were pickling his eyes, threatening to fall.

"It's not my fault. You didn't convince them that everything was good."

"But nothing was alright, _nothing is_ alright!" Draco shouted, and a nurse turned to see him. He immediately looked down, he knew that all the nurses were afraid of him. They all thought he was crazy, and maybe he was because no one else seemed to _see_ or _feel_ Hermione near them.

"Well, I thought you wanted to be with me. But you never stand by your promises," her chocolate eyes glared at him.

"I don't want to be with you anymore. You are not _my_ Hermione. You—You are a monster! Hermione would have never made me do anything to harm myself!"

"The thing is, dear Draco," she stood up, her curls framing her beautiful face. She walked up to him, cupping his cheek with her cold hand, "you are nothing without me, and you know it."

Hot tears spilled down his face. He wanted his Hermione back, not this woman standing before him.

* * *

"I know you have been reluctant to talk, Mr. Malfoy. But I encourage you to talk about what happened that night," the Healer said, sitting behind the long mahogany desk. Hermione snorted and rolled her eyes.

Draco looked at the Healer, Mrs. Byrne. She had been patient with Draco, even when he refused to talk. "I don't quite remember, I've told you that."

Mrs. Byrne shook her head. "I'm not talking about why you are here now. I'm talking about the night when your wife died."

Draco felt how his stomach clench. He slowly turned to see Hermione standing next to him. She lifted an eyebrow, admonishing him as she shook her head. He didn't want to lose Hermione again. But, this was not his witch. This was not his wife.

"It was our second anniversary, and we went out for dinner. She wanted to incorporate Muggle things into our lives. And I agreed to learn how to drive. It was the first time I drove after getting my license…" Draco took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Hermione was glaring at him. "We had dinner, and she told me she was pregnant."

"What are you doing? If you tell her the truth, we won't be together," Hermione hissed. But Draco took a deep breath, ready to let it all out.

"A car was coming towards us. I panicked, I just turned the wheel blindly. The car skidded, I could no longer distinguish right from left. I just heard the honk of the trailer coming our way. We crashed, and I fell unconscious."

"And you feel guilty about it?" Mrs. Byrne asked. Hermione was pacing up and down the clinic, pulling her hair in frustration.

Draco nodded. He was feeling dizzy, like the air in his lungs was not enough. "And I thought she had come back."

"SHUT UP, MALFOY!" Hermione screamed at him, her eyes full of wrath and her voice poisonous.

"And do you see her? Is she the one that tells you to do this?" the soft words of the Healer in front of him lingered in the air.

Hermione grabbed him by the shoulders, looking directly at his eyes. Draco's brain was pounding against his skull.

"Don't you love me, Draco?" her features softened, warming his heart.

"I love you. The _real_ you not this monster you've created," Draco whispered, looking at the chocolate eyes that he had once fallen in love with.

Mrs. Byrne leaned over the desk, her fingers in a triangle against her mouth. "Mr. Malfoy, you want to tell me what's going on? Is Mrs. Malfoy here with you?"

Draco looked over Hermione's shoulder, watching as the Healer waited patiently for his answer. Hermione shook him, harshly, so that Draco turned his silver eyes to look at her.

"If you tell her, I'll be gone forever. We are never going to be together, ever."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE. YOU ARE NOT MY HERMIONE. YOU ARE JUST USING ME!" he shouted, and the Healer didn't need another response. She knew that the wizard in front of her was having visions of his wife.

"Let us help you, Mr. Malfoy. We will help you overcome your grief and your alcohol addiction, but you must be willing to be helped," Mr. Byrne spoke softly, extending her hand to him.

"If you take her hand, there's no going back, Draco. I won't love you anymore."

Draco was looking between Hermione and the Healer, conflicted. But he knew that his Hermione would want him to be okay, would want him to be happy. He didn't want to drink anymore. He was tired of this new, angry and cruel Hermione controlling his life. Taking a deep breath, he took Mrs. Byrne's hand feeling safe. Hermione stumped out of the clinic, the door clicking closed behind her.

* * *

A/N: So this is my first time writing a one shot and I wanted to write something dark, nothing romantic. But I ended up cutting out parts because I felt it was way to dark and explicit and waaaaayyy to long. So I hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think and if you would like to read something more dark and explicit. :)


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